thank you
for vsiting .
Appetite
It rained so much
I could have water skied
myself down these streets.
My exit, suitcase in hand
arm raised in triumph.
When is goodbye real?
Not believing it, I turned
back to Catholicism
and lost my appetite.
It's maroon how lives
so heavily connected
go on as if one knows
which way is best.
I never liked the
normal colored crayons.
Give me the box of 2000
Burnt Umber, Sienna.
A kaleidoscope only
I could see
made me lonely
made me free.Umbilical cord twirling between
fingers. I can smoke
100 cigarettes without
a craving. Snicker bars get
me fiercely still I am underweight
and multi colored. What was 18
becomes 21 as if 18 never existed.
I destroyed photos.
13 worse. Oh, she’s got a quarterback
a Cadbury egg and she giggles
because her desire to destroy
the world is overcome by the need
for autumn.
Little Girl
This little girl
in my back pocket
the action
peaking out
laughing
the response
because she'd like
the question
to go sledding
or jump in a pile
of leaves.
I am
Always
getting in her way.
Fish and Chips
Spinal cords stretch like foundation giving
Into crosswords that never
Match up. I ate twenty five jello pudding
Do this nows and what
Does fat free means while painting
Toe nails red? Saturday. Haven't had fish n chips since I
Believed in lent and now, how she says babies
Out with the bathwater is not something mother
Believed in but I did, the whole kit and carry on. The whole
Epic disproportion. Half of an
Eyelash does not make for a great story
beginning thou shall not
when I shalted for.
Rings
Jane,
the perfect girl name, pictures painted perfect still painting
Shiny
still hand grenade with wax that roommates use in hair. Picture
The
moment, look love to the camera. Oh it's obvious? She dumbs
You
down? Poetry, the point, the paintbrush, turns with you. Language
Drums
you down with limits. I said to Mary, no and there was no word
For
her disdain in that moment nor this. Twenty two rings inside me count
Those
minutes and see what tv-less moments have made.
Second
moon coming soon and birds in v's do not alone make poetry but
Eyes
lies sugar sighs. You ate cheesecake maniac buys pretty shoes and
I sat
On
swings in vain. Running calves she grabbed and said you have been
jogging
Like
the event was a story. Scorpion does not know his place, this time
and
the
failure
For
the beast to act like a beast
creates
space like a bad
museum
exhibit.
That
which returned to makes for empty.
I in,
something found. I. In. found. Found
In
something. I in being found in. Being.
Presidential
ins. Royal Ins. Stripper ins.
That
which makes for good bye. That in
Moment.
Making. It was the second to turn.
The
alteration. Movement. Declaration of
A fact.
You
sank my mindset with milk
And
ginger snaps. Twenty two days
Til
it's even possible for 60 degrees. Until then
Wear
wool like skin. on busses that people
With
too wide shoulder sit next to me, pinned to window
With
grease smudge. I was to be which today
Is
with you. Twelve, carpenters dream and lollipops at bank
I still
get now.
Forgive
flaws enough to give
to
you. To red. In blue. And I
Feel
pulsating pulls into depths I never
Wanted.
Pulling thoughts
silence
like wanting to know
what
lies. Dream
afraid
will end. And raspberry gum, filling mouth
In
ecstasy there was too much and I
decide
between spitting. Swallowing
Running
not a wave, but a storm green.
The
work week beginning makes preface
job
with bullshit. Hunters and Gathereres never thought
This
way nor does the homeless guy with his cart
who
never says I am a bullshit bum. Spare Change?
Signed,
the bullshit bum which my mother gave him, the Vietnam
Dressed
vet near the Vietnam wall but mom, that guy looks 25
Not
born before Vietnam means you can't serve. Bum hears. Laughs.
Pictures
that look like vulvas or something similarly
Phallic
or carrots or whole, my body is not flower
I cannot
seem to keep alive, plants living 3 months. Must get
Overly
excited about the life
water
too much or too little
life
doesn't leave so early but oh a pie in the face
Equals
dash, half assed, equals who decides how it is best
To
decorate a Christmas tree, I insisted the Jewish boy didn't know
And
that because my mother was a nun the lights should be strung
From
the top of my consciousness floating in and out play the drums
And
think left foot every other right hand 8 right foot 4 and left hand
Every
other it's enough to make me write poetry or go to church
Which
could be my job, since a priest applied to be the new boss here, our father
I've
been writing poetry when I'm supposed to be working
And
yes I repent but I'll do it tomorrow with or without paper
This
began because it got too long for my head to contain you do it
To
characters you see, their lives, I would like to know your perception of
you
The
ugliest moments have their clarity and models grow old, plastic surgery
Kept
up becomes a play boy horror story.
Patent
leather shoes reflecting my ruffles panties which
Only
illuminates my blush which allusions the moment
Elude
your thoughts until you find it down, sewer wise,
Called
him Sarge like the pitbull, no beatle bailey
Was
I seven or five the day became tell me
What
made you that way, question you are fucked, answer.
Testifying
testimonial tell me was it wrong did you
Song
sty, singing meadow, couple placed on an
Island
with singles waiting to be buggard
Is
your love worth the beauty, and std free videoed
Voyeur.
It made you think more than the movied out
Social
critique gone wrong. Cigarettes cause cancer
And
your unique little lungs are replaceable
what
to do with a busted brain.
Carolyn Gereau is a 20 something year old living in Washington DC. A native of Rhode Island, she misses living in a place full of small town charm but wouldn't give up the DC poetry scene even for the ocean. She is a graduate of American University, and works, as most writers do, but dreams of writing her days away.